I thought about stopping writing here on Medium today. In fact, in the month I have been here, I actually think about it often. It can be hard to juggle the needs of a household and doing, well anything else. Honestly, I am not even sure how we managed when I was working full time. In some ways, we didn’t, and I let a lot of things slide. It is pretty tempting to let my inner critic beat me up and tell me that I can’t make this work.
Anyway, today I am grateful because anytime I think, man, I…
The most nerve-wracking part of any interview is when the guy across the table leans back and says, “So tell me about yourself…”
Will I say the right words? What do they WANT me to say? Will I seem like a weirdo?
I don’t like talking about myself. I especially don’t like it when I’m talking to someone I don’t know.
I can have a hard time connecting to people sometimes. I have to push myself to make small talk with the neighbours or have lunch with my co-workers. …
The future is far away
The past was only yesterday
1999 was only ten years ago
2025 is some far-flung fantasy sci-fi year.
All of these lies about time are easy to believe inside my mind. I cannot believe how much time has passed and how quickly it slips through my fingers. I feel like I am barely out of childhood, and I can’t help but groan aloud when I realize that “the '90s” were 30 years ago.
When I stand in the present and look backwards, I can see my life and all of the things that have happened…
Ah, it is not my secret to tell. I must direct you to the lovely blog of Robyn Stone. (I know, shame on me for directing you off Medium, but I must give credit where it is due!) There are many iterations of this chocolate cake on the 'net, but hers is the one I found first years ago when I needed a chocolate cupcake recipe for my kiddo's birthday.
This measurement is for cupcakes, but I have used the same measurement, or sometimes 1.5 the measurement for a cake in a 8.5 x 13 inch pan. The secret is the boiling water. It seems to keep more moisture in.
When I was small, I imagined that love would be like a fairy tale. I associated “love” with flawless princesses swept off their feet by the brave and handsome prince. Destiny fulfilled, perfect, pure love pervading their world, they are whole.
When I entered my teenage years, the idea of love became the desire to be accepted. I spent a lot of time hoping that my shy, weird, spazzy self would be discovered by the one person on Earth that would “get me” and suddenly all my character flaws that made it hard for me to interact with my peers…
I love me a good list. I love making them, I love checking off the tasks on them. Lists are calming and they are honestly the only way I get stuff done.
My brain is constantly in party-line mode with my thoughts all chattering like gossiping old ladies. The only time I can order them is when I write them down.
I make lists for shopping, lists for my daily tasks, lists for ideas I have, and lists for trips we have planned.
I have lists of the lists I haven’t made yet
Ok, maybe not, but I wouldn’t put…
Holy cow! That is scary and creepy! I am sorry you are going through this. I hope she finds something in her own life to bring her happiness and moves on from obsessing about yours. Stay safe!